Saying Good-Bye To A Dear Friend

Hi everyone! Yes ~ I am still here. I have been having a hard time doing much of anything.

Last month my wonderful companion of 8 years took ill and within 3 days (one day worse than the next) took a turn for the worse. We took her to the vet and this beautiful creature was really awefully sick ~ she had a stone in her bladder, dehydrated, high possiblity of being a diabetic, severe arthritis and her liver was only functioning at 10%. The vet said the she might not make it another 24 hours and IF she did and IF they can control her dehydration and IF they can get her blood sugar under control she might not survive the stone and IF she did we will be prolonging the inevitable due to her liver and at her age she might not recover so well. We got this precious princess from the animal shelter (best decision ever!) and she was said to be about 5 years old but we were never really too sure ~ the vet did concur that her age was closer to 13 years old. This horrible news devistated me ~ which totally surprised me that I became 'one of those kinds of people' the 'over the top wrought with emotions over their pet' kinds of people. I have owned pets before ~ tons of them ~ way too many to even count ~ but this event knocked me on my ass!! I think that was because she was MY dog she followed ME around WE played hide and seek and she would sleep on MY side of the bed and we had such a connection and because we did I couldn't leave her alone with strangers during her final moments ~ I was there carressing her until her final breath. It is so hard writing this. It has taken me a really long time to see something of hers without crying but knowing that I did make her happy for the last 8 years of her life (it could have easily been the hardest 8 years for her) is such a comfort ~ not a day went by when she didn't know she was loved.  We have been talking about eventually (maybe after 1 year) getting another dog but she has completely spoiled me ~ she was such a good dog in almost every single way and she needed nearly no training ~ that the idea of starting over is too exhausting. But maybe ... some day ... I can go down that path.

This event has effected my ability to clean (no I don't mean that my house is a wreck) but I remember her sitting with me in my craftroom watching me tip-tap the hours away or laying underfoot while I baked in hopes that I would 'accidently' drop something. But with Passover less than 2 weeks away ~ I need to work through my emotions so that I can appreciate what she really was .... a blessing.